If you’re reading this, David Smith, your suspension notification for cutting class at Middletown High School on April 11, 1989, has been discovered. It was hidden, probably right where you left it, in a REM Murmur album that was recently acquired at a garage sale in Amherst, Mass. Nice try, David, but this suspension is going back on your permanent “record.” (See what we did there?)

(Contributed by Douglas Teter‎)