Was this Stones classic indeed owned by Lisa? And if so, who is apologizing to her, or perhaps explaining his behavior, on the cover of Let It Bleed? Surely there’s a better venue in which to make amends. Why pick this specific album to deface? Is it just the only flat surface he could find, and he had to write his message in a hurry before getting the hell out of there? Or does the context of this specific record matter? Whatever he did, which he swears was well-intentioned, did it happen while “Gimme Shelter” was playing? And now Lisa can’t listen to a single song off this album without remembering the time that dude was such a douche to her? But then when she reaches for the record, she’ll see the sleeve and be reminded, “Oh yeah, he was just trying to be nice.”

I have never needed answers so much in my life.

(Contributed by Josh Rosenthal)