We don’t know much about this motherfucker.

We know it was recently purchased from Funky Little Shop Records, a vinyl online store based in Houston, Texas. (You should check out their Instagram page for some fantastic vinyl porn.)

We know it was previously owned by Jan (or possibly Jon) Christensen, who may or may not have lived in Texas.

But we do know this. Jan (or Jon) loved the Zepp. At some point, perhaps while having his (or her) face melted by “Kashmir”, he (or she) could be heard muttering, “I love this motherfucker. Everybody needs to know, this motherfucker belongs to me.”

And then they found a pen. But alas, the pen was not mighty enough to keep this motherfucker safe. This motherfucker disappeared.

Jan (or Jon), if you’re out there, we have your motherfucker. Come get this motherfucker!

As no less an authority than Robert Plant once sang, “I’m never gonna leave you/ I never gonna leave/ Holdin’ on, ten years gone/ Ten years gone, holdin’ on, ten years gone/ Ten years gone, holdin’ on.”

You get me, Jon? Your motherfucker is never gonna leave you! NEVER!

(Contributed by Joe Lemas)